The more people I’ve helped to find new jobs, the more I think about this topic. What is it that’s standing in your way?

When I meet job seekers, they always outline their concerns about looking for a job. For some, it’s age. For others, it’s weight. And, some are worried that they never finished college.

But, in reality everyone has these fears. What sets the successful apart from the dreamers seems to be one thing.

It’s not a MBA, a genius IQ, money, or a stellar existing job — although these things don’t hurt either.

The real “it” factor seems to be a person’s ability to pursue their goals, despite their fears. It’s being afraid, but trying anyway.

As I was thinking about this topic, I looked up a few quotes. There are so many good ones on the topic of fear. Here are just a few.

“If you live in fear of the future because of what happened in your past, you’ll end up losing what you have in the present.”
“Never let your fear decide your fate.”
“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”
“Fear is only temporary. Regret last forever.”
“Your largest fear carries your greatest growth.”
“Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.”
“Don’t let your fear of what could happen make nothing happen.”
“Everything you want is on the other side of fear.” –Jack Canfield
“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.” –Mark Twain

But, being fearless, it doesn’t mean always getting it right the first time. The fearless often fail, a few times, but keep trying. They try until they find success.

Thomas Edison once said, “I haven’t failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” You’ve got to believe he had to try a few times before he ever found success.

The ability to fail and keep trying boils down to resilience. It’s that grit factor that allows some people to keep trying until they finally succeed.

The key characteristic that seems to play hand in hand with fearlessness is openness. A theme I’ve observed in both my most successful clients — and my podcast guests is a sense of being open. When you ask about their careers, the story often includes parts about how they tried something they had never done before. Or, how someone gave them an opportunity they hadn’t planned on, but they took it anyway. It doesn’t mean however that they took every opportunity, but they were open to the ones that had possibility.

If you’ve been struggling to meet your goals, I’d encourage you to spend some time thinking about what’s holding you back. Why are you stuck? Some of the things you may come up with will be external. They’ll be out of your control. Once you have a list, focus in on which things you do have control over. Those are the ones that can make the biggest difference.

If I were to guess, I’d bet at least one of the things holding you back is being influenced by fear some (if not a lot). Focusing on conquering that fear (or learning to work through it) can make a huge difference in both your personal and professional success.

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Happy hunting!

Angela Copeland
@CopelandCoach

I hope you had a wonderful (and restful) holiday weekend! After a few days off, things will begin to get back into a routine soon. But, before they do, this is the perfect time to put together a 2016 New Year’s game plan.

What resolutions will you make this year? In 2015, Nielsen reported the top ten New Year’s resolutions were:

1. Stay fit and healthy
2. Lose weight
3. Enjoy life to the fullest
4. Spend less, save more
5. Spend more time with family and friends
6. Get organized
7. Will not make any resolutions
8. Learn something new
9. Travel more
10. Read more

One thing that can influence many of these resolutions is career success. When you’re happier at your job, you tend to enjoy life more. When things are going well at work, it’s also easier to save — and often, to travel and spend time with loved ones.

But, when work is out of balance, everything can really be out of whack. In fact, a psychologist recently revealed to me that the majority of her patients often report the source of their unhappiness and stress to be work related.

If you can relate, it might be time to re-evaluate your 2016 plan. What are the things you don’t like about your current situation? What do you like? And, what would you like to change?

Begin to reflect on how various factors like money, vacation, and stress play into your priorities. What you may find is that your priorities shift over time. What was important ten years ago may no longer be important today.

Based on what’s important to you, begin to develop a list of steps you can take to pursue a different career. And, whatever you do, the list should not begin with “apply online.” Sadly, one of the biggest misconceptions about finding the perfect job is that applying online is an effective way to find a job. Don’t get me wrong, lightening does strike once in a while. But, it’s not something to count on.

Your plan should include:

1. Look for opportunities to join networking organizations
2. Perfect your elevator pitch
3. Identify other types of jobs of interest
4. Research companies you want to target
5. Introduce yourself to people you don’t know — who have interesting careers or work at companies of interest

And, most of all, put the fear of failure out of your mind. So often, when we’ve gotten a new job, it’s been because a hiring manager contacted us. It’s less frequent that we are proactively in charge of our careers. And, therefore, the rejection we may face when venturing out can be tough at first. Just know that it’s very normal to get a number of nos before you get a yes. This happens to even the best candidates.

But, if you can be resilient and continue to push yourself, you will find that your resolutions will result in a very different (and happier) 2016.

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Happy hunting!

Angela Copeland
@CopelandCoach

Yesterday, I was listening to a podcast with a famous host who was reflecting back on life. I don’t remember all of the details, but there was one particular thing that stuck out.

The host talked about working hard on her stellar career for years, chasing dreams and taking risks. She had done it because it was what she was supposed to do. It paid well and she lived a comfortable life. But, underneath it all, she wasn’t actually happy. She convinced herself that what she was doing was right and ignored any signs to the contrary.

Eventually, she woke up from the fog and began to take things in a new direction. What she really wanted in life and her original dream no longer aligned.

As those types of transitions typically are, it was difficult for her. She had to stop and think about what she really wanted, and that was scary. She worried about what other people thought of her. For a long time, she wished she could have her life back the way it was. Back before she thought about what it was she wanted.

In the long run though, she was happy she made a choice to update her path and ultimately to find the place she was meant to be.

Her story made an impression on me. Many of the people I work with have similar experiences.

So often, someone will ask me, “What industry do you specialize in?” They’re trying to get a better understanding of my coaching practice. They want to know if I only work with sales people or IT folks or in a particular sector, such as healthcare.

Interestingly, the answer really is that I typically work with people who want to find something different. And, they don’t always know what different looks like – at least not yet. They had a moment like the podcast host where they realized they weren’t happy — and they got determined to fix it.

Finding a new direction in life can be one of the scariest things we do from a career perspective. We often lose our old identity as “manager” or “director” or whatever our fancy title was. The status we have earned over the years hangs in the balance.

Often, we even have to take a pretty significant pay cut. Starting can involve starting at the bottom. And, of course colleagues, relatives, and friends are quick to make judgements — and to tell you about them.

The other thing that’s tough is that figuring out what exactly it is you want (after so many years of ignoring yourself). It takes time. Many people expect a quick fix. You know, they want to have things to be figured out in a month or two. In reality, it’s not unusual for this sort of transition to take a year or two.

I can only imagine that this is a similar feeling to getting a divorce. A number of my married friends romanticize about what it would be like to be single right now. But, when you talk to those who are single, you realize that it’s not as fun as it looks.

In the end, the most important thing is the practice of listening to yourself. The sooner you pay attention to what it is you really want, the sooner you’ll figure things out. Continuing to push these thoughts out of your mind only makes a transition harder later.

I hope these tips have helped you. Visit CopelandCoaching.com to find more tips to improve your job search. If I can be of assistance to you, don’t hesitate to reach out to me here.

Also, be sure to subscribe to my Copeland Coaching Podcast on Apple Podcasts or Stitcher where I discuss career advice every Tuesday! If you’ve already heard the podcast and enjoy it, please consider leaving a review in Apple Podcasts or Stitcher.

Happy hunting!

Angela Copeland
@CopelandCoach

It’s that time of year again. The time of year when we make ourselves look really good, or really bad, at the holiday office party.

Given the big impact of your image on career success, I wanted to share a few tips with you.

Holiday Party Dos and Don’ts

1. Don’t stay home – So often, office holiday parties can cause stress and anxiety. This is normal and you’re probably not the only one feeling this way. But, what’s the worst thing that could really happen if you go? Not going typically has a far greater consequence as you’ll miss out on teambuilding time with coworkers, and facetime with your boss.
2. Select your guest with care – If you’re going to bring a plus one, be sure it’s someone you trust. You don’t want your guest making a scene that you have to clean up later. And, even if the person is just a friend, realize that you will probably get questions afterward about whether or not you’re dating. It’s typically acceptable to go without a guest, so if you can’t find someone reliable, consider going solo.
3. Dress appropriately – Just because it’s a holiday party doesn’t mean anyone should dress like they’re going to a nightclub. These are still the colleagues that you’ll be working with again the very next day. Stay away from clothes that are too tight, low cut, or short.
4. Keep drinking in moderation – Many people find that when they drink, they cross boundaries they wouldn’t normally cross. Whether those boundaries are things they’d say or things they’d do, they aren’t good to cross – especially with colleagues. Keep drinking to 1 drink per hour, max.
5. Don’t drink and drive – If you can’t drive home, don’t. There are just too many services like Uber and Lyft available to take you home when you can’t otherwise drive. Even a $100 cab ride is much, much cheaper than a DUI and a lost job.
6. Do not get cozy with coworkers – The company holiday party is not the time to get physical with your colleagues. It’s probably never a good idea, but definitely not at the holiday party.
7. Be conscious of what you order – Very often, holiday parties happen at a restaurant where you’re able to select your own meal and drinks. Although you want to order something you like, follow the lead of your host when deciding on what price point is appropriate. In all likelihood, it will not be appropriate to order the most expensive steak and the most expensive bottle of wine.
8. Don’t gossip – Although it can be tempting, try to keep the office gossip to a minimum. Focus on what’s really important.
9. Keep your manners in check – Office parties are the perfect time to be on your best behavior when it comes to table manners and party etiquette. It is rarely the time to let loose and forget all boundaries.
10. Don’t take up swearing – Hands down, this is one of my personal pet peeves. The work holiday party is not the time to get liquored up and take up swearing for the first time. I recently witnessed this at a restaurant. A woman had too much to drink and was trying to hang with her male coworkers on many levels, including loud swearing. As a bystander witnessing the exchange, I wanted nothing more than to pull her aside and explain to her that her coworkers do not respect her anymore because of her behavior. They most likely respected her less. Be the same you that you are at work each day.
11. Thank your hosts – Sometimes, holiday parties can be a drag. You have to find childcare and it feels like an obligation. But, keep in mind that your host went out of their way in planning this special event. Take the time to say thank you.
12. Have fun – Perhaps the most important DO for a holiday office party is to have fun. Take the time to get to know your coworkers a little more. Get some facetime with your boss. Take advantage of this opportunity that comes just once a year.

The holidays can be stressful, even under the best circumstances. I recently received a question from a reader about the best way to navigate family over the holidays when the topic turns to your career.

There are a few different scenarios that may cause your relatives to ask questions during your next holiday gathering.

1. You just got a new job
2. You received a promotion at your current job
3. You’ve left your job to start a business
4. You’ve left your job to go to graduate school
5. You were fired from your job
6. Your company just had a massive layoff that impacted you and you are now unemployed
7. Your company just had a massive layoff that did not cause you to lose your job, but has still impacted you indirectly
8. Your company has been in the news for something negative
9. Someone in your family needs a job and they’re hoping you’ll hire them

These situations all have the potential to be awkward for one reason or another.

For example, one family member may know more than others. You might not have shared with others because you don’t want them to know all the detail, or because you haven’t had time. Either way, it could cause those in the dark to be offended if the family member who knows brings the topic up.

Sometimes, family members try to ask you questions about your workplace that are considered confidential, or that you’d rather not share.

Other times, they may ask you things that are highly personal. One such question is, “Why were you fired from your job? What happened?”

Another is about a new job. It’s a little nuts to think about, but some family members will actually ask you how much money you’re making at your new job. Isn’t that just crazy?

There’s one thing that all of these examples have in common. They are full of people who aren’t respecting your boundaries.

It may not be on purpose, and may be with good intensions. But, these family members are crossing lines they shouldn’t be crossing. The question really becomes, how do you deal with them effectively?

At the end of the day, you want to handle things in the best way possible. Here are a few tips to help you to survive the holidays when your career is in flux.

1. Limit your visit – If things seems like they’re going to be stressful, limit the amount of time you’ll be spending with family. Communicate your arrival and departure dates in advance, so there are no surprises.
2. Consider staying in a hotel – It may sound strange, but one of the best ways you can manage holiday stress is by staying at a hotel when you travel. Although staying with family is less expensive financially, it can also increase your stress level when you can’t get away. Having a hotel to escape to can help to reduce stress and improve your sleep while traveling.
3. Do your homework – If there’s certain information you don’t want everyone to know, but one relative does already know, consider calling that person ahead of time. It will give you a chance to communicate in advance and keep any accidental slips from happening.
4. Try not to take things personally – Realize that there’s a good chance your relatives are asking you about your job because it’s the only thing they know about that’s going on in your life right now. They could be trying to make conversation, but don’t know what else to ask about.
5. Set boundaries – Don’t be afraid to tell someone, “I’m really not comfortable to talk about that right now.” Or, “I’d love to talk about this with you – another time.” At the end of the day, your story is yours and yours alone. If you don’t feel comfortable answering questions, you don’t have to.
6. Create a diversion – Quickly change the subject from your career to some other, more neutral topic. Travel, sports, and food are all safe bets.
7. Keep your drinking to a minimum – This is always a good idea. But, really – how many times have you heard a story about crazy drama that starts with drinking? Pretty often, right? If you know you’re going to be in a potentially challenging situation, protect yourself by keeping your drinking in check.

Before I end this week’s newsletter, I’d like to revisit the idea of salary. Sometimes, relatives can really go too far. If someone were to ask you how much you make at your new job, you could consider something simple like, “I’m not comfortable to share that.” Or, you could be a little more subtle and say something like, “It’s such a great opportunity. I’m really happy how everything turned out.” Or, “They gave me an offer I couldn’t refuse.” There’s really no right answer to this question. At the end of the day, if someone asks you how much you make, they have crossed a boundary. It’s absolutely acceptable not to answer, or to answer in any way that you’d like to.

Remember, your story is yours. You own it; you control it. You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to. And, chances are good that at least one relative is going to cross a boundary. You can’t change them, but you can certainly choose what to share. And, you can prepare yourself in advance.